People always ask me what made me decide to have weight loss surgery. Like
being 25 years old, over 300 pounds, and miserable wasn’t reason enough. I
guess what they really want to know is what my breaking point was…that one
moment that all of us 'post op-ers' have when we decide “this is it”; when
we decide to change our life forever.
For me, my biggest
goal in life was
(and is) to start
a family. One day
at work in a
doctor’s office, a
woman brought her
11-month old son
in for an
examination. I
asked her to have
a seat on the exam
chair and put her
son on her lap.
Sadly enough, this woman was about the same height and
weight as myself and when she sat on that exam chair, there was no lap for
the boy to sit on. In that woman with no lap for a child, I saw my future.
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That was not
the future
that I
wanted! In my
mind I had
always seen
myself as the
type of
parent that
my parents
were. Down on
the floor or
out in the
yard, and
active with a
child in
every way,
participating
in their
lives and not
observing
from the
sideline. I
decided I
would not be
a sideline
parent, and
that was it.
I made the
decision to
have surgery.
It was worth
the risk of
surgery to
have chance
at really
LIVING my
life.
As a heavy
person, I was
absolutely
miserable. I
let my weight
affect me
emotionally.
I was a
person that
wanted to
fade into the
background
because I
knew my size
stood out. I
was an
observer of
life, not an
active
participant.
I never walked with my head up and I never looked people in the
eye. I was not the type of person you would pass on the sidewalk who smiles
and greets everyone. Because of my weight I was terribly self-conscious and
had absolutely no self-esteem. I thought I could make up for my appearance
by being extra nice and I always ended up being taken advantage of. The
bigger my size got, the smaller I let my world become. The bigger I got
the dimmer I let the light inside of me become.
My weight was also beginning to affect my health. I would wake up in the
middle of the night gasping for breath, my hands and arms would go numb if
I tried to sleep on my side in order to breathe better, and I was always tired from
lack of sleep. My joints ached, I had to rest if I went anywhere that
required walking. Every day activities became difficult and
that brought me even farther down emotionally.
I had laparoscopic Roux-En-Y Gastric Bypass surgery June 4, 2002. I lost
160 pounds. I lost more than what I currently weigh! Losing this weight
has opened up my world, my life, and my spirit. The biggest transformation
to the naked eye is my outward appearance. I went from a 28
to a size 8/10. But, in reality, the biggest transformation has been
emotionally. I walk with my head up and greet people. I smile all the
time. The light inside that had been dimmed by the layers of fat now
shines bright and the world has opened up to me in ways that I could not
have even imagined.
Because of the wonderful changes this surgery has helped me to make, I
decided that I really wanted to work with people who were considering
weight loss surgery. I now have the opportunity to share my experience as well as guide
and support those considering surgery. My greatest pleasures are sharing
the joys of other patients when they reach milestones that “skinny” people
take for granted. I love to hear people tell me they crossed their legs
for the first time, or buckled the airplane seatbelt! I have been very
blessed and touched by each of the people I have had the opportunity to
work with. I am excited every day for the people that I may be able to help
and see their lives transform as my own has.
-Carli
